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A Friend Sent Me This Obituary


ogliq2

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An Obituary printed in the London Times.....Absolutely Dead Brilliant !!

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense ,

who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure

how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red

tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;

- Why the early bird gets the worm;

- Life isn't always fair;

- And maybe it was my fault.

Common Sense lived by simple,

sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable

strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).

His health

began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations

were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment

for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after

lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened

his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when

parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to

do in disciplining their unruly children.

It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer

sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a

student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to

live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better

treatment than their victims.

Common Sense took a beating

when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home or the

burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up

the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of

coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a

huge settlement.

Common Sense was preceded in death,

-by his parents, Truth and Trust,

-by his wife, Discretion,

-by his daughter, Responsibility,

-and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 5 ugly stepbrothers;

- I Know My Rights

- I Want It Now

- Someone Else Is To Blame

- I'm the Victim

- Pay me for Doing Nothing

Not many attended the funeral because few realized he was gone.

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