ChefMick Posted December 11, 2012 Report Share Posted December 11, 2012 So....... This guy goes into a local tavern and sits at the bar and orders a pint. He proceeds to savour his cold nectar of the gods and starts craving a cigarette, He grabs a smoke from his pack and in a frantic fashion starts to search for his matches,....to no avail. He scours the bar top to find all the ashtrays, but no matches. He then turns to the gentleman to his left and sais: "excuse me, can I trouble you for a light"? The man next to him replies "Sure, my pleasure"! and he reaches for his duffle bag laying next to him on the ground. A moment later he pulls out this giant lighter and slams it on the bar. Now this lighter is like 4' long and about 2' wide. The first guy looks at him and sais: "what the hell is that" "its my lighter" comes the reply "go ahead it works fine" So the first guy lights his smoke with ease after flicking the giant flint wheel. After smoking his cigarette guy #1 orders another pint then turns to the second and asks "not that it's any of my business, but where the heck did you come by that lighter"? "Oh, this ole' thing?. My leprachaun gave it to me"! "Leprachaun eh? I think you've had a bit too much to drink mister"! with an earnest look, the man with the lighter sais: "I'm telling the truth, infact he's coming to meet me here in a few minutes" Sure enough about 5 minutes later, in comes a little red headed fellow wearing a green suit and jumps up on the bar stool between the two guys. "Meet my friend Jimmy, If you dont believe me I'll buy the drinks for the rest of the night. Go ahead and wish for something, just whisper it into his ear" Now by this time the cigarette guy is thinking this guy is crazy but thinks 'what the heck'! So he bends down and whispers something into Jimmy's ear. all of a sudden there is a cloud of smoke and POOOOOF!!! The bar is jam packed with thousands of ducks. He turns to the lighter guy and sais: "what the hell is this"? "I did'nt wish for a million ducks, I said A MILLION BUCKS"!!! The lighter guy sais "oh yeah i forgot to tell you Jimmy's a bit hard of hearing" "How do you think I got this giant BIC"!!!!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blairwelsh Posted December 12, 2012 Report Share Posted December 12, 2012 I know that joke ... but with a slightly different spin: *Guy takes out a little piano, and a 14" Pianist who starts to play it. Punch line being: "didnt ask for a 14" pianist" and instead of a leeprechan it was a "Genie" Funny joke ... couple beers/drinks or/ and some Bob, being told uniterrupted (remembered) and it works real well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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